Hash Trash

Reporting the moments you might prefer to forget!

Run No - 1753
Monday 10th July
The Greyhound
Tibenham
Hares: Shunt & Basset

What a shitty wet horrible evening it was. Do I turn round to go back to Norwich and have a cosy night in and be a complete wimp... or do I carry on to the run? Well as I am writing this you will know that I did carry on as a true Hasher even in the pouring rain to Tibenham (note only 1 b), to do the run.

Seeing many in waterproofs, running coats and jackets. I sensibly decided to wear a waterproof bin bag. Over my BLUE Hash T-shirt.

Circle was called by the Grand Mistress and the hares explained the route telling us about the poor footpath's that had not been cleared, (they had complained, taken photo's and sent to the council or something - which wasn't going to help tonight!), and it was about 5 1/2 miles.

Off we went in the rain, bloody soaked. Hares were right it was about 5 1/2 miles, footpaths overgrown, rubbish hadn't been cleared. Millie managed to lose her extortionately expensive dog coat which got caught in a load of oil seed rape. No way could it be found on such poor footpaths in soaking wet fields. However I did find a pair of Sunglasses..... who takes fu*king sunglasses out in the pouring rain? Still something for "lost property" in the circle.

Halfway around the rain stopped so I was able to take off my black PVC binbag and then ran for over half the hash in a blue T-shirt.

Back at the pub. Plenty of wartime memorabilia on display from the nearby airfield. Good selection of beer... and Guinness which had just run out. The barmaid then taking at least half an hour to clean the pipe and serve Lucky with a pint, (she had ordered a half) and was unable to multitask and serve other beers at the same time. Meanwhile the circle was called and patiently waiting, and waiting, and waiting. The Guinness was finally poured and the useless barmaid then looked over the edge of the counter to serve the dehydrated, gasping runners who had sunk to the floor. Eventually providing them with refreshing beer and the circle could then commence.

Down, Downs awarded to the Hares. (good run. Nice area. Crap weather. un-kept foot paths, useless barmaid).
Birthday drinks awarded to "not yeti" and Katie Compass.

social news. PUP's on Thursday, Honeypots, (not a Hash group) Friday. Latitude this weekend. Something else which sounded good but can't remember. No camp-out details mentioned. Lord Mayors procession last Saturday was a disaster as the majority of the parade turned off before getting to the pub where we were all drinking ! (this is by no means a hash "cock-up" as the procession organisers had changed the route). Fireworks were excellent.
Gossip: The social secretary may or may not have resigned. (hopefully not. But it is a bloody hard committee position which we all appreciate).

Numerous other down, downs awarded. Can't remember who to - its an age thing. Ah!, just remembered:
Wooly for spelling the village name incorrectly on receding harelines. which then really confused the hell out of sniffers sat nav.
Lucky for lost property. - Sunglasses.... in the rain... (and she's not even blonde)
Yogi for muddy, shitty new shoes, both of them, then awarded Hash shit for sensibly running in a black bin bag.... for less than half the run. Totally unfair. Especially as LYM had covered the Hash Shit in Shit, (very smelly pony poo). Which he then blamed on Botanicals. So stinky!

On inn for chips and a big sausage.

Yogi
(The Smelly one in the corner)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Run No 1751 - 27/6/17
Kings Head,
Reepham

Hares: Lumpy and Botanicals

A beautiful summers evening as the pack gathered outside "The Kings Head" in Reepham Market place. The GM was conspicuous by his absence - traveling to hash events in other far off countries, so the circle was called by the Grand Mistress, Imi, and the hares introduced the trail. Then gave everyone a carrot!!. Umm… was it such a long trail that we would be returning in the dark and would need help with our night vision?. No. It was for the donkeys. What donkeys? this was all new to us. And off we went.

Through the village, across a few fields and onto Marriots way. Running past The Reepham railway station. Which many hadn’t seen before. Old trains and carriages and about 100meters of track. All quite interesting. Then off Marriots way to more fields and lanes all extremely well marked. Plenty of checks and even bar checks which completely through the RA who got caught on a falsie and couldn’t believe that such “novice” hares. (including "the mrs” ), could have been so devious and laid it it so well.

A short cut for the short cutters and a circular trail back to the Mariots way track which we had already run along, but in the opposite direction! All very cunning. Off through more fields…. this was a pretty long trail and we still all held our carrots. Actually I lie. As it had been a long trail some hashers decided that they needed to eat their carrots as substinance, and to help see in the dark as it was now getting dark! Where there really donkeys? Or was this a devious trick by the hares to make everyone run the trail carrying a bloody carrot!!

A few more fields, back and forth to Marriots Way and eventually we came to a field which did have two donkeys and a fu**ing great cart horse. So they weren’t lying and we hadn’t carried the carrots for nothing….. We definitely hadn’t. Because the bloody donkeys in true “billy goat gruff” tradition were blocking the way over the stile into the field and were not letting hashers past unless they were rewarded with a carrot! This did slow the pack a little and was great amusement as we all pushed past them and up to the cart horse. I say “cart” but really I think it should be “fart” horse. As it would have given Chuffy a good run for his money with amazing ground shaking, arse rippling farts as we passed!

A really good, (possibly best run of the year), run set by the girls. Then back to the pub. Which continued to the enjoyment and success of a brilliant evening with a fine selection of good condition ales accompanied by excellent chips and warm, freshly cooked ciabatta rolls, with butter and all condiments. Yum, Yum!

Out for the circle where “down downs” were awarded to:-

The Hares - excellent run and venue.
Shunt: for being too technophobic and having a “map my run” app working on his phone which was telling him when he reached every mile and half mile. - The problem being it was only of use to other hashers as he couldn’t bloody hear it!
Woolly: something about the carrot?? a carrot or his carrot?
Hugo: can’t remember why. But know he excited the harriets by stripping off and then poured it over his head!

Announcements were made but all seemed very confusing. There may or may not be an August camp out. We may or may not be meeting for beers on Fridays, well some Fridays. The Honeypots, (now apparently a hash sub-group), is meeting Friday. As is Gluepots. (Which isn’t a hash group and so wasn’t mentioned). This Sundays stroll (also not a hash event), is Sunday - all welcome. Christmas is 25th December…. and don’t mention the Christmas Party!.
All this stuff, and more is on the social page of the website. (allegadly).

That was it. So "On Inn" for more social banter and booze!….. A great evening.
Yogi
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Run no. 1750
LYM's House Rollesby
19/6/2017
This years Summer Solstice was held 2 days early at the abode ( grenville in reverse ) of LYM. Many Hash thanks to him for his generosity.

A good turnout was recorded as beer and barby were on offer and we all know lots of hashers fancy a bit of barby.

A good footpath run ensued with on back to the hosts. Hoot Alors who turned up but the one and only Dodo with Scooper and Howard in attendance. They explained their reason for attending was they had nothing for Supper. For the benefit of Shunt the correct name NOT TEA. Which is taken at mid afternoon with a piece of cake.

Dodo was soon put to work cooking, cannot stay away was commented from several quarters, very true. Food and beer were in abundance, then on to the circle called by a small highly coloured root vegetable AKA The GM.

DDs were awarded all round, the only one I can remember was Hashy Birthday to Shunt.
RA came next, over costumed and overheating givings DDs out like confetti. Eventually awarding the Hash Shit to Sticky Fingers for cutting the arms out of his tes shirt. Yogi should have been punished, but I did not snitch about Millie having a SHIT on the footpath
I wonder if trainers have been checked.

The tables were then turned on the RA by Wimpy for poofter activities, do not turn your backs boys. The circle was completed with a joke from the garrulous Dodo.
OnOn Dodo.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Rose and Crown, Frettenham
Run no 1749
12.6.2017
Hares: Woolly Jumper and Bagpuss

This was a short trail of 3.7 miles, Bagpuss took some hashers on a short cut which made it less than 3 miles Who said I always set long trails?

We hadn't been to this pub for a while and i must say they had a good selection of ales in fine condition. Sam the landlady put on a good spread of cheese, biscuits and quiches etc. Made a change from chip butties.

The GM, Beetroot awarded us hares with beers and I was presented with a personalised rucksack embroded with the words" Woolly 1500 runs", Get a life award or what!

We welcomed visiting Harriet called Checkpoint from Cambridge Hash, who we had seen only 3 weeks ago at the Cambridge 2017th.

Mystery RA was LYM.who dished out down downs to the following:

JammyTart was given a down down for pineing for Sticky fingers who also received a beer for returning from New Zealand

C.v.C. For ruining Mia's 3 wheel buggie. After many rough miles the forks suffered metal fatigue.

Sniffer for lost / displaced keys and Beetroot for something I cannot recall.

W.J.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Venue: Surlingham Ferry Inn
Surlingham The Broads National Park.
Run No 1748
Hares Optrex and Dopple-Ganger.

This run was set in the former territory of Optrex and Dopple-Ganger a little strange as Optrex and Dopple-Ganger now reside in Bawburgh. Well it all goes back further to their baronial residence in Grays Essex where both where grew up together and Dopple-Ganger’s Grand Father was a cement baron in the Great Grays Cement Dynasty, so why did they move to Norfolk? Well Dopple-Ganger’s Father took the then young Keith Howes to Cromer via steam train, first class of course, for his holidays and he loved Norfolk, Grays was a massive cement producing complex that you could see for miles with hundreds of 300ft plus chimneys that dominated the sky line belching thick grey smoke and the fall out was horrendous. From then on Keith dreamed of living in Norfolk so when his Father retired the business was inherited by Keith, he promptly sold off the Howes Cement Company and demolished the Baronial Home, known as Grays Castle, the resulting rubble was ground up and fed into the lime kilns and the new cement company was called Castle Cement.
Dopple-ganger made a fortune and he invested in a massive estate in Surlingham with shooting Ranges a massive Freeman Gin Palace Yacht so Dopple-Ganger and Oprex could navigate the broads in absolute luxury and so on, on.

The Run was around his former baronial home in Surlingham through vineyards nature reserves a church yard that was turned over to nature, a great view of Surlingham Broad and of course the shooting range. It was a great shame that it rained as the scenery was fantastic. The only thing that was missing was the yacht. This run did not have any false trails but was set out in a kind of grid pattern.

The Circle
The GM
Dopple-Ganger and Optrex Down, Downed for being Hares
The On Sex Awarded Not Yeti for his attempt at 300 runs Inscribed Tankard given.
RA Down Downed
Anna Bolic for complaining that she only lives 500yds away and she had to drive 9 miles to get there.
Lym for tryingt o uproot a tree with his rigger boots but failed and fell flat on his face.
On On
Your Scribe Lym.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bird in Hand, Wreningham. Run no. 1746
22.5.2017
Hare, Mollasses

Fair turn out, we were informed by hare of how many calories at what pace we would burn but it slipped my mind.
Lovely trail through and round fields lots of rickety bridges and over grown footpaths, not good for those of us wearing short attire, my legs tingled for days from all the stinging nettles. Plenty of wildlife deer, horses, cows, dead moles and even a plastic heron.
Lucky managed to fall over and leave her imprint in the long grass and was then terrified by a charging Cow (not yeti).
Plenty of chips served at pub fat and skinny.
Down downs awarded to Lucky for having a growth on her bottom, Slipper misses his for trying to remove it so was awarded to Lobotomy for pretending to be the RA.
On on Bottom tanicals
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Run 1745
The Black Lion
Buxton.
Hares Woolly Jumper and Bagpuss.

A Curate's Egg of a run, good in parts.
Said to be 5.7 miles but felt more like 7.5 especially as some of the markings were missing
and us rear enders had to look for the trail.
It took nearly two hours, I'll never make it as a marathon runner.
Bad bits, too much road and rail.
Good bit, lovely trail by the river passing Oxnead Hall.
Circle:
Administered by GM Beetroot.
In order of appearance.
Down Downs for the Hares, left hands joined under crotch style.
LYM for a birthday, allegedly his 2nd (down down).
Newcomer, Emanuel from one of the Saxony's in Germany.
Three Hundredth Run for Not Yeti. He also received a very fine pewter mug.
Over to the RA Bagman resplendent in his Cardinal's Cassock.
Not Yeti back into the circle for a geographical error concerning the status of Shipdham.
Apparently it's the longest village not the highest as per a previous trash. Geography.
Lucky for freezing Riff Raff in their Barbadian hotel room with the air conditioning. Bacardi Freezer.
Mosque Flasher for lusting after a Boy Kite surfer. Paedophile.
Beetroot for forgetting where he had parked his car after a Sunday night piss up. Amnesia.
On On
Hugo
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Golden Dog
Shipdham, (Highest village in Norfolk)
Hare, Count Von Count
30.4.2017

Run started with usual questions on how far the run would be. Count assured everyone 5.6 miles and there would be some of his friends from Holstein on a farm that we would be going through. Off everyone went starting with a check that confused most hashers but allowed the group to catch up.
The area was new to a lot of us and made a pleasant change. Counts marking​s were all very good .. until we reached a farm where we met Counts friends, he meant Holstein cows, and the owners were not so friendly as we were told the path didn't run through their farm, and gates that looked as if they hadn't been closed for years were slammed shut with a squeaky bang.We however, continued along what was probably another private road to a more legal footpath .
All in all a very good run not too long and a good venue. Not a bad turn out as several hashers were away, so a good hash . In the absence of Beetroot the GM was Shunt and as Bagman left early, Not Yeti was RA.
In the circle Lucky was given her engraved  glass mug for her 1000 run plus another Guinness.
Down downs were for Count for causing hashers to trespass. Also to Lucky, Jamie Tart and Annie who gate crashed the gents loo to check out the viagra vending machine. Why they were so interested is HARD to understand so the RA suggested he may have put a sample in each of their down downs to see the reaction on them........but was joking ... Or was he ?
Not Yeti

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Run No 1740
Venue, The Dog at the Bridge Inn.
Ludham,
Norfolk Broads National Park.
Hare Not Yeti.

We hear a lot about "Global Warming" but we have never encountered it in Norfolk, until this day, yes we had some Global Warming, a rarity in Britain, the temperature reached 25 deg C on this fine April Sunday, yes it was a sunny day all day.
The venue was the Dog at the Bridge Inn, formally The Dog Inn, Ludham. Ludham is a strange Broadland village its historic yes it did have eight pubs but even more strange is at Ludham Hall, which is a scheduled ancient monument, is a small church that is still licenced for weddings has not seen a nuptial for years also it has not seen a congregation for years also but it is still in use, well the local farmer keeps his combine harvester in it, so we could say it still has its annual harvest festival.
The Run took us around some fascinating Broadland scenery that is the site of the three rivers, the River Antingham, Ant for short, the River Thurne and the River Bure known as the Mother of the Broads. the trail also took in How Hill a very scenic area, Lovers Lane and Ludham Horse Fen Staithes.
Back at the hostelry we found a peaceful rubber brick paved memorial garden to quench our thirsts in with views of Thurne, The Birth Place of the NH3 and Rollesby Heath in the back ground. The Ludham Dog was also a very important NH3 historic site, it is were Lym introduced food at the end of the run for the very first time and it has remained ever since. It was also Lym's first time as hare for NH3.
The Circle
Down, Down for Hare Not Yeti
Announcements The Lion at Thurne will open again and will be managed by the Neatishead White Horse. So the site of the NH3 Big Bang will once again be remembered
RA Bagman aka Cardinal Sin
Down, Down for Not Yeti for not seeing Lym on his bike and nearly knocking him of it.
Down, Down for No Name for falling of a bus injuring himself and damaging the bus.
On, on
Your Scribe Lym


26.3.2017
The Mariners, Felthorpe.
Hares : Woolly & Bagpuss

It was a beautiful sunny Mothering Sunday, when the smaller than usual pack left the car park. Woolly took  the hashers who wanted a longer run (4.75) miles and I guided the walkers on the shorter trail, around the village and close to Felthorpe Hall.
The main pack  weaved their way around the trail which went through woods, where the flour in places had been rubbed away leading to some confusion.

Eventually we arrived back at the pub where I  had prepared the food  for all to enjoy.

The circle was called and the GM awarded the hares  a down  down  which we had to drink  back to back and bent forward whilst holding hands ( very tricky ).
GM awarded Optrex  a Hashy Birthday drink, followed by LYM who was given and down down for love your Mothers day.
Guest RA, Shunt then gave Woolly one for being a perv by squeezing Lucky's horn whilst it was between her knees.
Slipper  had a down down  for having a senior moment, he asked who the GM was!
A spare half was given to Lym for having an association with Mothers day.

Bagpuss
------------------------------------
12.3.2017
The King's Head,
Magdalen Street, Norwich

A popular venue for our hare Beetroot, who started setting about 8am. At that time of the morning the down & outs mistook Beetroot for one of their kind, something to do with his sleeping rough look a like rucksack.

The Trail went round most of the Historic sites of Norwich which fascinated Slipper and a few others.

Good to see Molasses, Jelly Baby and JellyTot back on the scene .

As usual the pub had an excellent choice of beers in good condition and as usual for this venue, Beetroot had got some pizzas arranged for hash food and In addition some French sticks and cheese .

Lym in the absence of Grand Matress took on the role of GM and awarded the hare and started off "Hashy birthday "for Molasses And Jelly Baby.

Next the R.A.stepped in minus his red cassock, don't worry he was still decent.

Slipper was downed and given a pink woolly hat to match the pink in his "NO NO NO etc." woolly jumper which he has had for decades.

Annabolic was given a down down for being an honest soul and taking a lost wallet to the police station and in the process nearly getting knocked over apparently.

Down downs for Twonk and Unmentionable for something to do with clothes, can't  remember after all that nice beer!

On On , Woolly.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Run 1735
Venue: Kings Head, Blofield.
Hare: Annabolic
Hounds: Approx 20 + returnee after 10 years.

We all assembled at the Kings Head car park on a somewhat cold and wet day. A Green Man appeared--not a sign of Spring but Slipper with a green bag on as protection from the weather.

We then picked up the trail and were soon on into the muddy fields and slippery paths. Everything went ok for the trail until we arrived at a check where the real trail was seen to be going off away from the pub after 50 minutes of running. At this point several hounds decided to call it a day due to the extreme cold and wet (and take the SCB trail back; the writer included) and returned to the pub bar to join Annabolic the hare for a warm snifter at the bar.

DISCRETION IS THE BETTER PART OF VALOUR.

That was the end of the writers hash.
Although a bit late the food was good; seemed to be enjoyed by all. Nice to see a pub come back from the death.
Down Downs: Hare --Annabolic for a good slippery run.
Sipper happy birthday.
Pus visiting from the past; hope he comes again as good to chat about the Norfolk origins.
Slipper
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hash No. 1733 19th February 2017
Venue: The Bell at Saham Toney
Hare: Count von Count
Hounds: Approx 15

We gathered in the car park waiting for the hare, enjoying the hash view - The Mere.
I had the luxury of a warm up run to the pub which I regretted when Count turned up hot and sweaty after laying a fresh trail and declaring it was 8.9 miles. He then told us no, it was 6 miles with two shorter trails one 3 miles and one 2 miles, with a beer stop, so bring cash.

We set off in a bitter cold wind along the road towards Saham Hills.
Then across some lovely footpaths that I never knew were there. The sun came out and the fleeces came off, turned out to be a lovely sunny day. Thank you Religious Advisor.
Then across Ashill estate with pastures of friendly sheep and then…. I went wrong & everyone followed..Barh! I think it was more of a case of the bar in mind. Local knowledge I had worked out the beer stop was McTaggarts. Only Bagman did the full trail. Well done to him, he did look rather cream krackered. I will go back and do it properly in the next fews day Count…promise!

A few ran back to The Bell in Saham and some got lifts back.
The pub did huge quantities of chips and lovely soft baps. We had to donate the left overs to the bar. Where were you Mosquey ! ?

Downs downs were:-
Hare Count for laying a very well marked fresh trail, even if most of us didn't follow it all!
Riff Raff for forgetting who RA was!
Woolly celebration drink for his 60th even though his not 60 yet?
Porky for turning up for Woollys birthday party a day late.
Woolly for getting a little blue pill stuck in this throat and having a stiffy.

On On Jammy Tart

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Venue: The Butchers Arms.
East Ruston,
Oak Lane,
Norwich
NR12 9JG

Run Number 1732
Hares: Wooly Jumper and Bagpus
Weather: Cold biting North/East wind and Cloudy. Snow in Norwich.
The Run Area: The East Ruston Commons in the Broads National Park.

The Run Blessing conducted by Riffraff. No dogs bite us, no cars hit us, N/E wind not freeze us etc.

The Run was very Baltic, well weather wise that is with a N/E wind shredding us to bits, much warmer in snow bound Norwich with massive snow drifts more than 50mm high that made the passage to East Ruston like the Scott's Passage in Antarctica. Well Norwich was much warmer so this is were most hashers remained for this run thinking East Ruston was snow bound as well. For those who did make it did experience a great run in the Northern part of the Broads Park, saw plenty of wild life in an area that was once drained fen now flooded again to restore habitat for nature. Is this what national parks are all about and not tourist destinations? The run took us through some farmland, ugh!, East of Hill Sixty and on to Ruston Fen Moor this took us to, yes it had to be, this is a Woolly run, yes onto an old railway that is now part of the Weavers Way, the railway line was originally the line from Great Yarmouth to Cromer via North Walsham, strange as the Weavers Way path now starts from Great Yarmouth station. On, on clock wise around Honing Common then on to Ruston allotments, not the garden types that you rent out to grow your veggies but land flooded and allotted to attract wild life back. On back to the Butchers Arms for a good warm up, plenty of good food and ale. There was a problem, Gary Aka No Name turned up but what had happened to Don Juan? well it was strange, was he abducted by a Hermaphrodite? these creatures were discovered here in 1929, in fact farmers tried to sell them at auctions and they still exit right here in the Broads. No he just got lost. Anyway what is a Hermaphrodite?

The Circle Conducted by our Grand Mistress Riffraff.
Down, down awards for Woolly and Rosie aka Bagpus.
Hash events etc.
Enter the RA cardinal Sin or Bagman.
Now for his victims.
Well it had to be Yes Don Juan yes as usual, getting lost. Or did something else happen?
Lucky Linda for trying to corrupt the RA.
Lucky Linda again but passed her down, down on to Count von Count with the help of his Son Tom finished of Lucky's d/d.
That concludes the Run
On Inn
Your scribe Lym, Your Beer Master
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Run 1729
Venue: Duke of Wellington, Norwich.
Hare(s): Annie & Bagman
Hounds: Approx 25

We all assembled at the D of W car park on a somewhat cold but beautiful day. There were several visitors present from the Hertfordshire Hash and also a few Norfolk returnees. One going back to the ‘90s.

We set off at a suitable walking pace which allowed two ‘drug assists’ to participate for a few minutes until Annie sent them on their way with a flea in the ear. We then picked up the trail into the blue yonder. Everything went ok for the trail until we arrived at Mousehold. It was here that the writer, in search of the trail, branched off to the right and that was it—I never heard anything; Bugle or cries of On-On.

There were plenty of arrows which Bagman had told us to ignore so the writer using Yorkshire logic followed them the wrong way, hoping to meet up with the group, only to find out after the run that it was laid by others.

That was the end of the writers hash and therefore had to do with with a convivial pint back at the D of W with Twonk. Not complaining.

Fantastic food; seemed to be enjoyed by all. Somebody said best this year(again).The pies were to die for.

Down Downs: Hares Annie and Bagman for a good town run.

Twonk for carrying his 60th birthday party over to the run and in thanks for the said fantastic party.

Junior, Rhino, Splash, Nursey & 19th Hole Nursey visiting from Herts. London and Yorks. and also a lady returnee ET who claimed she had last hashed in the 1990s. Very welcome back.

Slipper.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Venue: The Crown Inn
The Street,
Catfield,
Great Yarmouth NR29 5AA

Hare: Lym

Run No 1728

Weather: Sleet/rain, Cold, Temp 2 deg. C

Beetroot's Start Circle: Blessing of the hare and the run, No goats butt us, No cars run over us. No getting lost us, No dangerous animals kill us, No lightning strike us, No horses kick us, etc. On, on.

The run: This was set out with three lengths to choose from Long, about six miles including falsies. Medium about two and a half miles and a short run just over one mile all finishing at the same on inn. I was a pity as the long run would have taken you past Catfield Fen National Nature Reserve. An absolute pristine landscape having a protection level of Cat 1a the highest you can get. Catfield and Sutton fens are the only 1a protected areas in the whole of mainland Britain. Terrain was very shiggy. It was not long before every hasher was back at the venue/hostelry warming up around the wood burner on this cold Sunday morning. venue had some very good local beers except for one and Yogi said I would not put a fire out with that.
Food was prepared and provided by Lym, our Beer Master, as the pub chef was on Holiday. Lym provided more than enough food for everybody.

The Circle: Conducted by our New GM, yes! Beetroot. Yogi being Beer Monster as Lym was Hare and Chef.
Awarded Lym for being Hare with a down, down.
Bagman our newly elected RA was down downed for his ecclesiastical red uniform and given the name of Cardinal Sin.

RA in the circle, Cardinal Sin (Bagman)

Lucky Linda and Kari for chatting about Lym's short length
Lym for setting a short run.
Bottomtanicals for not having her camera to take photos, She is now our Hash Flash new elect.
All down, downed.
Hugo nearly got a punishment for being Bob the Builder by wearing a high viz jacket and a Hard Hat in the circle.

Lym Your Hare, Chef, Beer Master and Scribe for this Run.
On. on.
The Venue: The White Horse
Norwich Road
Chedgrave
Loddon
Norfolk. NR14 8EZ
Hare Not Yeti
Run No 1727

The Gathering: This is something we have never experienced ever before on a Norfolk Hash. May be its a New Year Resolution? Well it was the most orderly parking ever performed at a hash venue, when everybody had parked up close to the Landlords car and every hasher could leave without being hemmed in. Mind you Dopple Ganger was directing the parking in a very orderly fashion. It was not natural for hashers to park like this even when being directed by Bumhead.

The Start Circle: Conducted by the Grand Monster Elect, Beetroot, in the absence of late arriving Yogi, who blessed the out going RA, Not Yeti in a ceremoniously order asking him to neal down and blessed him for the first run of the year. Not Yeti explained that the run would be about 5 miles long and that some foot paths where closed for restoration.

The Weather: Cloudy and Cool.

The run: Well we have had quite a few runs from this pub but none have been in the protected area of The broads, They have always been south of Chedgrave on farm land. The first check point that we endeavoured was so small that the face of a ladies wrist watch would not fit inside it, Wooly's are known to be small but this one was micro in comparison. The run took us around Hardley Village? Where on Earth is Hardley?, well in the Broads National Park of cause, the fact is its virtually unpopulated, hardly a village. When the Broads where given protected status, villages where omitted from the park, but not Hardley. The run took us via some detours as foot paths where closed and passed some very austere places, Hardley Flood, Hardley Street, Hardley Staith, Hardley Carr, Hardley Hall. Hardley Wood, Hardley Lane, Hardley Marsh, Hardley Mill. Hardley Bank, Hardley Fen and Hardley Church. The only features that did not have a Hardley in their name is the River Chet, the River Yare and the Cantely Sugar Beet Mill. So what happened to Hardley? Well during the Great Flood of 1953 the River Chet burst its banks and Hardely was virtually wiped out, what remains today is the now Hardely Flood, this flood never fully drained away, a National Nature reserve now occupies the site. Count Von Count was first back from the long run and he measured the trail with his intergalactic navigation system as being 6.3333332548792 miles long, Others took longer as they strayed off the trail, Slipper leading Don Juan and the others followed them off
trail and It took nearly two hours before every off trail hasher was back.

The hostelry was great but a little expensive for beers. Lym tried to wreck it by bursting out trough the fire doors causing a chimney inversion and causing the smoke from the log fire to billow into the pub.


The Circle: Yogi conducted his final circle and announced that Beetroot will be GM at the next run. Not Yeti awarded his Down, down
Yogi's last whinge time, run too long, footpaths closed and hashers not following the flour and arriving back late. Next weeks run
Future events announced by Bagman

Mystery RA Nominated to be Bagman as Not Yeti was hare.
His Victims were as follows

Beetroot for generating a lot of bullshit. Harked B/D.

Lym for charging out of the pub though the fire doors and smoking out the pub. Harked Door Buster.

Slipper for leading many hashers astray, Harked Blind leading the Blind.
On, on Lym your trash scribe for this run.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Venue: Stuart House Hotel
Kings Lynn.
20/11/2016
Joint run with Bicester Hash

Pathetic turn out by NH3 when only 7 Norfolk Hash, plus the Hare and
Milllie turned out to greet and entertain our 40 Bicester visitors.

The rain stopped, the wind dropped and the sun came out as the masses
ran down the drive to start the usual?.... maybe not, trail around the
Historic and Maritime sights of Kings Lynn.

We all quickly headed through the local back streets to the Hardwick
Cemetery. The usual trail out of town suddenly turned out to be a
“falsie” taking all the front runners in the opposite direction to the
trail which interestingly headed through a wild common area and onto
the river bank. (“we haven’t been here before” said Woolly), Great
Hash view along the river. Then running along the riverbank and into
town past all the historic points of interest. Back through the park
to the On Inn.


As always Yogi had a great choice of Ale, Black Sheep, Adnams best,
JHB and “John Smiths” smooth….. what?? John “Fu*king Smiths!. We
weren’t expecting that!

Apparently this had been a special request from Bicester Hash as one
of their group only drinks the stuff and had assured Yogi that it
would all be drunk over the weekend…. They lied. There was a load
left. Ummmm…. “down downs” … after all they are a punishment!.


Down downs were too many to mention, (there was a lot of John Smiths
to get rid of). Then back into the bar for loads of chip butties by
the roaring fire, laid back jazz, social banter and some decent beer….
ahh.


Yogi (Hare and Host).
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The White Horse
Neatishead
13/11/2016
We had an excellent run last Sunday on the 13th of November. It was set by Mosque Flasher from Neatishead. We parked at the village hall. Mosque Flasher gave Bagpuss and me a map to show us the short cuts. All the runners followed the well marked trail (except Slipper who appeared to be going backwards at times.) There was a good turnout considering 15 of our members attended the Hard Bastards weekend in Derbyshire. I think that this proves that a lot of the Hard Bastards (some of whom are now Soft Bastards, staying in B and B or warm vans) are not regular runners. Good that they are still involved though. Bagpuss and I despite usually being very fast, managed to take a few interesting detours and had a longer walk than everyone else.
Circle-:
We welcomed 1 new virgin, who down downed well. Bagpuss had a birthday drink. Slipper drank not only his own down down but other people's as well when nominated. The chips and onion rings were very good indeed. So well done with the run and the venue.
Here endeth the Trash.
Riff Raff

Run 1720
The Bell End  at Barnham Broom
Hares Woolly, Bagpuss & Lucky

It started being a sunny but cold day.  Everyone chatting about the great firework event at Yogis the night before.  Spectacular fireworks, an exciting bonfire being blown about in the wind and rain, lovely BBQ & plenty of beer. A good crowd. Many thanks Yogi.

The run was a good runners trail, about 5.5 miles long along several straight footpaths and tracks across fields. Not giving much scope for falsies or shortcuts.
As Beetroot & Sticky Fingers walked past the turkey shed  they heard a collective cry from birds inside. Beetroot decided the cause of this would be the leading turkey raising one wing to signal the entire shed to cry on command. Gobble, gobble gobble….very strange!
Half way through the heavens opened to make sure we all ended up back at the pub soaked through.

Down downs were awarded to-
Anabolic for Birthday greetings from October. Having to drive she nominated Slipper to help her out.
Again Anabolic for seeing ‘free range children’ or was that ‘man child’? Again Slipper was nominated. This time Anabolic was told The Circle ‘Rules’….what hash rules?!
Fire work helpers Shunt, Woolly and Yogi. A great night, thank you again.
Beetroot for hiding Lyms boots.
Sticky Fingers for touching up someone but who?, so Jammy Tart joined him in the circle and touched him up instead.
Hugo for not being able to run in his wet carpet slippers or Trogs as he called them.
Normal social stuff and pups stuff. The circle was interrupted by people talking about TV shows. Apparently Lucky might be on Country File wearing her hash T shirt.

Naming:
After 125 runs and still no name……Mrs Count ( sorry don't know her real name) got named………

FRONT LOADER

her children found her ceremonial ritual of beer and flour poured onto her head, whilst on her knees all a bit much. She promised never to front load again.

Nice warm pub with some good beers. Many thanks to Woolly and Rosie for again providing filled rolls for us to stuff our faces with.
Several of us stayed on. Including Slipper who enjoyed several more beers waiting for his good wife to collect him. Slipper stated that he wouldn't be going to hard bastards as it would make the numbers short for the hash. Could the real reason be Slippers harem!?! Lucky cracked us up with her Northern impersonation of Slipper, which he replied to, I don't have a Yorkshire accent do I? Then in his broad Yorkshire accent said, ‘I’ll av anather arf before the wife arrives’

On On

Jammy Tart








Run No. 1719
Halloween R*n
Denton Rec.
Afterwards at the Queen’s Head (Who Said etc….?) Earsham.
Hares: Shunt and Basset.

‘Twas a foggy morning, ideal for ghosties and ghoulies, of which there seemed plenty on this r*n. Some Notable Hashers were even more recognisable than usual.
Before we set off a group photo was taken and will no doubt appear when a spot of blackmail is required.
We set off and before long, and as usual, with these hares we were crossing a field with no actual path visible, then there was an arrow to the left on the ground and on on we went hopefully following flour. There were many more occasions when the hounds were spread across a field looking for flour.
Luckily the fog had lifted and we were treated to some wonderful autumn colours easily rivalling those seen by your scribe on his recent visit to New England.
All in all it was an excellent r*n with the hares manging to get everybody back to the start at about the same time.
“Mercy’s sake we got ourselves a convoy breaker 19” and so the hashers set off for the pub.

The Circle
Down Downs for the hares
Social events were announced. So many it is doubtful that any one hasher can attend them all.
Misdemeanours: (I can’t remember them all as I only volunteered to be scribe after the circle and my memory is not too sharp since I have reached this great age.)
Beetroot for failing to see Flour on the trail and coming back to then check a falsie.
Lym for something but he drank it so fast I couldn’t keep up.
Lucky Linda for leaving the horn in her car when she had a lift with someone else.
I think someone else got one but I can’t remember who.
Finally a reward for the best costume which went to ………… Bottom Tanical who fooled us all by wearing a wig of her natural hair colour.
Hugo.
 


Run 1718
Venu: Kings Head, Lingwood.
Hare(s): Bagman
Hounds: Approx 17

Again more walkers than runners but never mind, be thankful -- not a bad turnout. The writer soon got lost when the run wended all over the place and certainly lost the orientation after crossing the railway several times. Could not get to grips with it at all--must be old age. Noted that Woolly tried to enlist new members near the end of the run, turned out to be his work colleagues.

Must congratulate Bagman for the end game where he had 3 hounds turning right after the last railway crossing--they all look the same.The writer recalls making the same mistake last year--silly old bugger.

Fantastic food; seemed to be enjoyed by all. Somebody said best this year.

Down Downs: Something to do with push bikes.
Future Events: Bagman spoke for several minutes on the Christmas and New Year events but too long for me to remember what it was all about. Read the direction carefully for car parking on next weeks run. Next run is Halloween and fancy dress mufty for everybody.
Park your brooms in order of leaving the pub.

Slipper.
 



The Duke of Wellington, Norwich
Run number: 1717
16 October, 2016

After some early inclement weather, we made our way through dog poo streets and eventually made our way to Mousehold where some of us got thoroughly lost due to lack of flour.  Still it was nice to walk/run through the dappled sun filled woods amongst the Sunday dog walkers and finding our way through the maze of trees and back on to the relevant route over the Jarrolds footbridge, and gradually winding our way through the various streets of Norwich back to the pub.

On arrival at the pub, we were presented with some lovely sandwiches, sausage rools, nuts and home made pickled onions - and very nice it was too.

Down Downs:

Twonk:                    For turning up basically for some social drinking!

Lumpy:                    For getting lost on her own Hash!

Hugo:                      For bothering to take a picture of the Trump Building whilst in America!

Lucky:                     For dropping a full pint of expensive Guinness without breaking the glass!

Carol:                      Given a Hash name: BOTTOM TANICALS, for obvious reasons!

Chuffy & Chumpy:    For turning up late, inappropriately dressed and sponging some Hash food!

On On

Lucky Linda
 


 

Run no. 1716
Sunday 9th October
Mystery run!
Hares Shunt and Yogi

Note: this appears as a matter of record only, as I took no notes at the time and have now completely forgotten what little I had been able to recall.Sorry!

Several of us had parked up at Rosie's and Woolly's in order to board the coach at the Brickies before heading on down to the railway station for the next pick-up. There had been some sort of cock-up trains-wise, but in due course the little group boarded the bus and we set off, destination still unknown. We shortly found ourselves bowling merrily along the A146, speculation rife as to our ultimate destination: Beccles? Lowestoft? But as we threaded our way through the centre of Beccles it became apparent that our destination lay further south. Through Blythburgh, so not Southwold. Walberswick, again? No, ever onwards - aha, Westleton Crown? No,passed that on our left, onon southward via Leiston with its memories of Garratts steam engines and distant views of the Brian Goose memorial dome. Turned left, looking like Aldeburgh, but no, left again, and with no other options remaining, it had to be Thorpeness, with its windmill and totemic house-in-the-clouds. 
Our hosts for the afternoon were to be the golf club, and as we piled off the coach to collect our commemorative tshirts, artistically designed by the GM himself right down to the greengrocer's apostrophe, he informed us that the onon was to be in the shed round the back, as was appropriate for the Hash. He also informed us that there were separate trails for walkers and runners respectively, then we were off. I can't speak for the runners, but can confirm that there were indications that a half-hearted attempt had indeed been made, using the bare minimum quantity of flour, to mark a trail, but once past the Dolphin it became somewhat unclear as to whether what we were following represented our out trail or the runners' in trail, especially when we came upon a check. We got as far as the beach, on flour, but allowed ourselves to be persuaded by Twonk that this was not our intended course.
At this point, the rain which had been drizzling down on us came down a bit harder, causing the group to fragment, most choosing to make a beeline back to base. As it seemed a bit pointless to come to the coast and not sample the beach, I set off briskly towards Aldeburgh, turning back after about 20 minutes.  
To everybody's surprise, the "shed round the back" turned out to be an annexe to the golf club itself, where we were greeted by staff serving a hot buffet which we consumed seated at round tables with proper white napery. Possibly a first for NH3?
Thus fortified, and the weather having cleared up, we were led by Yogi down to the Meare, where a fleet of rowing boats lay waiting for us to embark on a waterborne treasure hunt, the treasure having been previously concealed by Yogi around the various little islands. Much hilarity ensued, but to the surprise of the spectators nobody actually managed to capsize and nobody managed to get marooned, according to Yogi who counted them all out and counted them all back. 
On on from there back to the golf club for pre-circle drinks then outside for the Circle itself. This followed the usual pattern, and as jugs of beer had been bought at a discount price, the contents were poured into a number of glasses and down-downs were fabricated until it was all accounted for.
We then proceeded to pile back on to the waiting coach for the return journey. This was uneventful, and surprisingly subdued, with none of the customary singing. At one point we ran into some very heavy rain, which mercifully we had avoided during the afternoon. And there was a p-stop for the blokes (sorry ladies!).
On reaching Norwich, the drop-off procedure was the reverse of the pick-up at the start of our day, and tired but happy we all went off on our respective merry ways, a good time having been had by all.

On on

DJ

 



Run no 1714.
25.9.2016
The Longe Arms, Spixworth.

This was the first Sunday Hash in the Autumn of this year, and we welcomed the return of  Slipper, Parker and The Virgin Mary.

Fifi Footbook, the hare, had set a trail from this venue last year but still managed to get the front runners thinking. The first part of the trail was along tracks and permissive paths, it even had views of three old aircraft at Norwich Aviation museum. 

Continuing under the flight path of Norwich Airport we then turned left and eventually joined the Spixworth Road, passing the vast ongoing Northern Distributor  roadworks and then back to the pub. 

As both G.M.s were absent Woolly had been appointed to stand in as GM.

A circle was formed and Fifi was awarded two downs for being the birthday girl and the hare.

The R.A. called Virgin Mary and Count into the circle for warming up prior to the run, namely by running 10 and 20 miles respectively, just before the Hash.
Virgin Mary managed a beer shampoo before the circle had even started to ?sing.


Slipper and Parker down downed for being married, but not to each other it turns out.

Bagpuss had a half of bitter ( what no cider! ) for not being able to get her leg over after her hip op. (A bench seat that is).

Bearded Don Juan received a half for being able to sing, now that he has finally got some new front teeth.

What a load of trash, Woolly Jumper.


Next Sunday 2nd October The Hash will be from the Kings Head, Hethersett.  Mystery run on the 9th October, a few spaces left on the bus.

 


 Venue: The Buck, Thorpe St Andrew,
Hare: Not Yeti
Run No 1713

The area was Thorpe St Andrew that included Thorpe Marsh of which forms part of the Broads Park. Thorpe Marsh and St Andrews Broad are a fairly new designated national nature reserve created in 2011 it is also, to date, the closest that you will find to any city in the UK, being only 25 hectares, makes it the smallest of the 14 national nature reserves in the Broads but has a diverse range of wild life for such a small area. It is managed by the Norfolk Wild Life Trust and some excellent foot paths have been provided.

The Run started from the Buck Inn with a loop around St Andrews Church and its sibling that is now in ruins, trying to follow both old and new trails, the former being laid on Saturday, soon we crossed a pedestrian bridge over the main railway line to Great Yarmouth and other coastal destinations from Norwich onto Thorpe Marsh, Optrex started to worry about how quickly the evening daylight was drawing in and we could get stranded in the wilderness, Bagpus and Riff Raff had already abandoned the trail and returned to the railway bridge. The rest of the hash had made it around the wilderness and onto the urban parts of Thorpe St Andrew returning to the Buck Inn fairly quickly.

The Venue The Buck Inn was excellent, the beer was good with plenty of good food and chips plus a surprise helping of whitebait thrown in.

The Circle

Yogi GM awards hare Not Yeti his Down, down award.

Bagmans 60th Birthday and Down, down

Yogi GM's announcements, good run, up and coming events, no whingeing this time.

Mistry debut RA Molasses

Victims:

Bagpus and Riff for even, short cutting the short cut.

Carol for taking a watering can to Bagman's Birthday Party.

Not Yeti for laying the run on Saturday only to find most of it had been scrubbed away and he had to lay it again.

On, on
Your Scribe for this run Lym.
 



Monday October 12th 
The Beehive Norwich.
Run no.1712

Yet again a lovely evening. A miracle occurred, Yogi was on time. With his co hares Katy and Millie. Yogi was front Hare and Katy did an admirable job of rounding up and guiding most of the walkers. As a keen runner myself I was not in that group and so bumped into Count and his boys who are also keen on running. The run took us from City streets on to Eaton Park where we went down to look at the model train yard and up past the putting. The rest of the run was a blur to me as I bumped into Rosie and we went so fast, that the only person to arrive back at the pub before us was Porky. We had an excellent circle, rewarding our hares with beer and orange juice. Mystery RA was Hugo and he punished whoever was deserving of a punishment. We had excellent bread an chips and after a sociable evening, retired to our respective homes.

Riff Raff

 

Venue: The Lion Inn Thurne,
Broads National Park,
Hare: Annabolic.
Run No 1711

In the beginning of all time NH3 created the Big Bang at this very spot in the whole Universe, this was the very spot were Norfolk Hash House Harriers began, the Broads was not a national park then and lots of water has flowed down the River Thurne since. On, on back to the last century of 1984 at a date called the 20th of August on the Gregorian Calender it had all began, the first hash run ever in Norfolk started and finished here, right on this very point, on good old planet Earth. Porky our hash elder can remember this event very well from this Triassic period, he used to oink then but now, through evolution, he now grunts. The village of Thurne is very much the same as it was back then as about four years later the Broads were given protected status by an act of parliament called the 1988 Broads Act and Thurne was one of only few villages that was incorporated into the park area so it is to this day protected from developers and brings back great memories, well only for one that is. Many hashers have been and gone since that very day.

The run created this time by Annabolic, the hare, was a sized down run in length from the original with an additional area covered by new permissive paths that did not exist at the time of the big bang, back then it was mile after mile along the Thurne river bank, now we were able to run over marshland, flood plain and fens that we could not do or see before the creation of the Broads National Park, this part of the park is now permissive access area that allows visitation but with plenty of warning signs like "deep water, thick mud, adders, no swimming etc." along the trail, Over all a good scenic run mostly on foot paths with part of it along the famous walnut strip. No attacks from any Neandertalus Nawfuckus this time as Yogi had covered most of the flour by parking over it and nobody got lost or drowned. Well done Anna

The venue, The Lion Inn has had a little TLC since we were last here, good service, beer average, it still retains some of its original character, very much a traditional Broadland pub.

The Circle
Yogi's Time wasting whinging, Events, Meetings, Birthdays,
Annabolic awarded down, down for her good scenic run.

Not Yeti RA victim and naming and shaming time

Porky was the first victim as he parked his car without braking or applying the hand brake and propped up the fence surrounding the pubs gas storage tanks. Was he going to create the second big bang?
Down, downed harked fence destroyer.

Bagman for running the trail in reverse
Down, downed and harked backward sod

Annabolic for caravan whinging for a second time.
Down, downed harked caravan hater.

Wooly Jumper for walnut throwing and hitting RA in the back of the neck.
Down, downed and harked walbolic.

That's All for Now
Your Scribe
On, on Lym

 


Venue: The Cantley Cock. Cantley,
Hare: Molasses.
Run no 1710.

The area selected for the run included part of the Broads National Park beside its main river called the Yare, also beside the River Yare is the Cantley Sugar Beet Mill. It was very strange that when the Broads Authority was being formed they included the sugar beet mill area into the park boundary and not the nearby peaceful village of Cantley, from were the mill gets its name. Maybe it is regarded as an industrial heritage site and part of the later industrial revolution as it began working in 1912 and still burns coal to this day for its energy requirements, just like the old cotton mills, from the photo archives Cantley Beet Mill looked very much like the Lancashire counterpart cotton mills of yester year, with a single brick built chimney belching thick black smoke into the sky. today the mill has been upgraded and no longer belches thick smoke, just water vapours and an aroma of sugar being refined. Some other UK national parks also have megalithic industrial sites like the Peak District for an example, with its two Cement Factories and numerous mines. However the Cantley Sugar Manufactory supports employment for the area and Molasses is one of its employees, also it takes part in the National Mud Festival sponsored by British Sugar, from September to February.

The run, by Molasses was divided into three lengths starting from the Cantley Cock Inn founded in1636, the run started from the car park, that's normal but it was a little strange this time as there was a big heap of industrial boiler ash on it and Molasses instructed us he was using it to mark part of the trail as it was a by product from the sugar mill, that is used for road beds and car parks, on, on called and we were on our way, yes in the direction of the mill first passing Cantley Grange onto the settling ponds of the mill that are now attracting lots of wild life, so after all the sugar mill is being eco friendly, Lucky looking at a bovine on an island in a settling lagoon thought it was a statue but was in fact a real animal. To some up the run it was both naturally scenic and with views of industrial landscape also a railway line that was Norfolk's first, to please Wooly.
The Venue, The Cock in is quite some distance from the village and was most likely as travellers rest many years ago, today it is a fine hostelry for food and good beers. Good choice by the hare.

The Circle
The GM Porky took the circle this week

Molasses awarded with a down, down for his run.

On Sec, CVC awarded Molasses his 100 runs tankard, medal and down, down.

Nice Beaver, awarded her 300 runs tubby tankard, medal and down, down.

Not Yeti the RA was absent so Lym RA was given the duty by the GM porky.

Victims as follows:

Molasses for using boiler ash from the sugar mill to set part of the trail, down downed and harked Mol ashes.

Chuffy for farting into a fan in Yogi's Pub sending customers in all directions, at the Kings Lynn Beer Festival Event, down, downed and harked Fan Fart.

Lucky for thinking Norfolk Bovines are statues like the concrete cows in Milton Keynes, down downed and harked Concrete Cow.

Molasses had his new 100th award ceremoniously flat edged.

ON ON Lym Your Scribe

 




Run 1708  Monday 15th August
Hare:  Chata
Venue: The White Lion, Oak Street. Norwich.

Two trails : Athletes 5 miles
                 Knitting circle 2.5 miles

As this is a city pub, was expecting a city run. Instead Chata, who is not from around these parts !!, took us on a tour of the Norwich industrial estates and the infamous Mile cross area, where people prefer their kitchens on the outside of their homes, judging by the number of fridges and washing machines seen in the front gardens. 
If you came back via the river path, each seem to have a different route back, you should have been nicely high from the clouds of oriental camel tobacco lingering in the air !

The Circle.

DOWN DOWNS

Chata- Hare.

Mary Poppins.
Visitor from the Newcastle H3 received a down down. 
In turn she gave a bottle of a rare Ale to Gary (Handed to LYM in his absence)  for gallantry over and above the call of duty, ie he lent 60 euros to Mary following the theft of her purse when at the Swiss Nash Hash. Gary, who only drinks Lager, hopefully will see this as an honour. In anycase, the thief could not live with the guilt and decided to return the purse to her whilst in Germany without her knowing. 
Also a warm bottle of Newcastle Brown was donated to the hash and we were all forced to drink some of this in the circle, obvioulsy pay back time.

Milf -  for interpreting what Chata was saying to Mary Poppins.

Beetroot -  for trying to help the RA with directions, because he hasn't got a clue  !!

Mole arses -   For using his phone on the Hash, playing Pokemon nearly all the way round the trail.

Woolly - for falling, as Porky did the previous week, and injurying himself.
 
CVC - for dragging Fin away from the TV and for slave driving his pupils, namely Chata who was oh so tired.

Homemade sandwiches provided by Chata, around 1000 sandwiches in two very large industrial size tuppaware containers, this defeated the hash, not seen before, as there were two left at the end.

oNoNBeetroot



Venue: Wiveton Downs National Nature Reserve.
Hostelry: The Kings Head, Letheringsett.
Both in the Dodonia National Park.
Hares CVC and Niki
Run No 1705

Count and Niki had set this run in a very remote part of the Dodonia National Park, many hashers had a job to find it set in the Wiveton Downs, some did not make it at all, some tried to find it but retreated to the hostelry at Letheringsett, Moskie was trying to do the run by car. This part of the national park was featured in the documentary, Normal for Norfolk on BBC 4 TV.
Wiveton Downs are a range of rolling chalk hills topped with a glacial till of rock fragments that formed were a glacier had calved onto the Blakeney Esker during the ice age forming this awe-inspiring landscape. This part of the national park and including Cley Marshes and Blakeney Point was the first ever area in the UK to be given protected status for nature in 1927 and was the UK's first designated National Nature Reserve. Today the Wiveton Downs are now designated as a Special Site of Scientific Interest. (S.S.S.I.)

The Run, the weather was fine and once again in this awe-inspiring national park named after Dodo, starting from the Wiveton Downs Nature Reserve car park, descending down to the River Glaven, the parks largest river and the greatest fall, starting from its source at the Pond Hills that are 9400cm above sea level near Hempstead Village. As soon as we were at the river Glaven Valley we had two choices, stay on the West side of the river or cross it at Glandford to have a long run in Bayfield Hall woods, most crossed the river either by the ford or on the foot bridge for a long very scenic run in the Glaven Valley with rolling green downs each side of the river then at Bayfield a view of the valley's highest hill, Hareflights Hill towering to 6000cms, must be named after the hash but it is not. No Name had some walking difficulties and needed to get back to the summit of the Wiveton Downs, Lym guided him back via an scb. to Wiveton Village where they found Moskie still driving around in her car one hour after we had started the run. Back on the downs it was observed that there were some angus cattle roaming the hills that would be more at home in the Cairngorms National Park near Dundee, rather than Dodonia. Back to the car park and off to the hostelry at Letheringsett.

The hostelry was first class, good beer, plenty of chips even enough for Moskie who had returned back late after her run or should I say her own personal Wiveton Rally.
The Circle conducted by Yogi our GM
Yogi's Whinge Time. He actually gave Count and Niki our hares much praise for their run in this wonderful area and it's fantastic scenery, shorter run than Counts normal runs, Awarded a down, down each.
Events, Kings Lynn Beer Monsters Festival hosted at the Stuart House Hotel, Pub/Bar and Beer Garden,
Bagman advertising the Summer Camp out at Blofield Heath.
Other events like the mystery run and Quorn weekend.
GM hands over to the Mystery RA Lym
Lym has his jailers keys to lock up his victims, who will they be?
First victim was Moskie, it was seen by many that she had turned her run into her own rally as she could not find the car park and was lost. The problem was Moskie used to reside in Letheringsett.
Harked Lost One.
Second victim was Molasses. He had a problem opening a farmers field gate and using his karate skills tried to chop up the gate only to injure his hand instead.
Harked Black Belt
Last victim was sadly to be Count even after such a spectacular run in this fantastic landscape, great hostelry and being our hash hero, Count was seen to be wearing a black tee shirt at Foulsham, claiming it was dark blue but Lym was not having any of it and said you took off at more than 50 billion light years per second, hid behind a black hole in the outer Cosmos to avoid detection. Lym said "the sky at night is dark blue but to the human eye it is black." so your shirt is black and was awarded the Hashshit. Harked Black Hole and down, downed. [Editorial note: Said tee shirt still available here. Colour blindness is a genetic condition affecting the colour sensing cells in the retina of the eye. In 99 % of cases, red and green are the colours that are difficult to distinguish. The remaining 1 % are presumably hashers ☺]
On, on
Lym Scribe, BM and RA for this run

 


Run No 1704. Monday 18th July 2016
Venue, Ferry Inn. Surlingham.
Broads National Park.
Hares Hugo & Riff Raff.

It was not long ago that we were in this part of the Broads before, at the New Inn, Rockland. Well it is Surlingham Ferry Inn only just down the road or should we just say up the river. The area around Surlingham forms part of the Mid Yare National Nature Reserve that includes Surlingham Broad and it's neighbour Outney Broad, while Outney Broad is still open water Surlingham Broad is not and is no more than dozens of ponds in a big peat bog, It was a medieval peat digging but Mother Nature has returned it to how it used to be when the Broads was an undiscovered forbidding wilderness.

The run, so far the warmest for this year, the ferry area was like big party with BBQ's and lots of drinking going on, putting the hash to shame, on, on called and we off along Ferry Road following foot paths via Coldham Hall, that's now a river side pub, onto the wilderness of the nature reserve. Well the problem was again with wild places is the local wild residents, the little critters were having a great time, tearing us to pieces, these little creatures are also found in other wetland national parks around the world and can be dangerous, they are mosquitoes, Norfolk one's are not killers as they like to preserve their victims for later meals, one nearly savaged Lym's left hand. The scenery was outstanding with mid evening sunshine an excellent run. The venue was good but busy that caused the service to be a little over loaded and difficult to get served.

The Circle; Our GM Yogi
Yogi's whinge time? No! it was not for heavens sake he praised the run, the scenery and the hares. Hugo and Riff Raff awarded their down, downs.
Up and coming events etc.
Awards, Lumpy, for her Happy Birthday.
Jelly Baby for completing 100 runs Presented with her milestone pewter tankard, down downed and then tankard was ceremonial flat edged by the beer master.
Over to the RA Not Yeti.
Don Juan, down, downed for implants.
Porky, down, downed for flappy shoes.
Mosqui, down, downed for fitchiness what ever that means.
Bagman, down downed for the purchase of a large luxury caravan but not having a tow hitch on his Mercedes, Harked "Lord of the Caravans".
That's all for now Hashers,
On, on
LYM

 


 Monday 11th July

The run was from the Queen's Head at Foulsham & we were joined by a Cambridge H3 contingent and two local virgins from the pub.

We set off on the run with weather more like April than July!

We set off down the main street & across the fields heading toward Twyford before doubling back into Foulsham & out again on the Guist road & across the fields to Mill Lane & Batesmoor, skirting Foulsham again through gardens & bushes ending up at Pockthorpe.

It was then an 'On Inn' back to the pub for chips & baps & a few 'wets' before the Circle.

Punishments:

Hares, Woolly & Hash Hooker.

Cambridge H3 Guests.

Woolly was Hash Shited for wearing a black T Shirt in the Circle, and not informing visiting Cambridge hashers not to wear black.

Lym for attempting to destroy pub property whilst parking.

Porky for his dog doing a green poo!

A London H3 guest for using a phone in the Circle.

Great fun had by all.

On on

Lobotomy

 




Run No 1702
Venue, The Village Hall
Northrepps.
Dodonia National Park

Hares, Dodo and Woolly

The gathering: Yogi turned up on time, this was a first for a long while, Dodo, Scooper and Howard trio now living within the National Park in a caravan as they have sold the DNP headquarters in Cromer and they are having holiday to celebrate. Beetroot said to Dodo that he could help him down size his new home and still have five bedrooms. Well we all know about Beetroot's architecture, 4' 6" high ceilings etc. Dodo gave Lym the duty of being the park ranger for the run and to give a report for any hasher for wrong doing and breaking park rules to the RA for punishment. Wooly wanted this run to incorporate a dip in the sea but Dodo informed him that we would have to descend 300ft or so cliffs at Sidestand to reach the sea, plus an extra 4miles on the length of the run.

The run: Once again in the awe-inspiring Dodonia National Park, this time Northrepps played host, a very picturesque village, then on out into the wilderness of pingos and rolling hills with some big holes in the ground, so deep you could not see the bottom of them. Dodo explained to Lym that these holes were old iron ore workings and not sink holes. After a mile or so we had followed the trail to Frogshall forest, this was where the fun began. Yogi's dog Mille was off her lead and head, scaring ground nesting birds including a male pheasant that did an almost vertical take off. Beetroot became petrified of being in the jungle and he could get lost and never to be found again, Dodo explained to Lym that we are now approaching a "Wickadaw", Lym thought this was a wild life form only to be found in Dodonia but turned out it was a wicker work door through the curtilage wall of Frogshall, Soon after we came to an opening with a check point that lead out onto a quiet lane. This is where Yogi got lost, he took the quiet lane, the trail actually lead us to the Fox Hills if you found the check point. Beetroot started whining about the steep trail to the top of the Fox Hills that are more than 8000cm high, a struggle, as he was city dweller, at the summit we were above the forest and birds eye view of Northrepps in the distance and the decent down to the on inn.

The Reception: In the carpark of the village hall Woolly and Bagpuss supplied us with some excellent food and goodies, Lym hash beer. Hugo had arranged all the haberdasheries that were for sale along the carpark fence and Yogi modelling 1700 run hats. Lym explained to Scooper that there was an actual Broad in Dodonia right here in Frogshall forest.

The Cicle
GM Yogi's whinge time, could not find trail, got lost, no flour on quiet lane.
Down downs for hares Dodo and Woolly
Down downs for Dodo and Scooper for returning.
Social events etc.

Over to the RA Not Yeti
Hugo for requiring hard core, down downed for being a porn star.
Beetroot RA abuse, again will he ever learn.
Yogi for letting his dog Mille off the lead and not obeying national park rules, down downed for being an animal abuser.
Dodo down downed for sniffing Bagpus's crutch, well it was actually Howard that did the dirty deed.
Finishing off the rest of the food and beer Hugo collecting up the haberdasheries and Yogi taking orders for 1700th hats By By everybody.

On, on Lym



 

Venue: The New Inn
Rockland St Mary
Hares Not Yeti and Lucky.

The Run took us to a different area of the Broads this time to an area uncharted by the Norfolk Hash, this area was named Claxton Moor, which seams strange for a Broadland peat bog, they are normally called fens or carrs, moors are normally associated with peat bogs in upland locations like Dartmoor, This area was once called Claxton Common but was restored by Claxton Manor Estate, turned into a nature reserve and renamed it Claxton Moor However the run was very scenic along concession footpaths and the weather was kind to us for a change. The pub served us with some nice pizza and chips

Yogi's Events and whinge time, hard chips etc, even though he was one hour late. Down downs for Not Yeti and Lucky

Mystery RA Shunt was nominated as Not Yeti was hare.

Punishment down downs as follows

Not Yeti for being horny

Milf for having a discussion with Lobotomy asking him to show her his crack. It turned out to be a crack in Lobotomy's windscreen.

Lumpy for having a little prick up the bum.

Mosque Flasher for being a Venus fly trap and now supplementing her diet with insects.

Jelly Baby down downed with a spare Guiness.

On on
LYM

Run no 1699 Darby’s. Swanton Morley

It had been a very wet Monday with little hope of improvement by evening and it seemed that many other NH3-ers had similar misgivings because by 18:55  only 5 hashers were present, including the hare! It was decided to postpone the start which allowed Woolly, CvC, Fifi and Not Yeti to arrive. Fortunately the rain held off but it was still very wet underfoot as 9 intrepid souls set off. We were soon off- road and onto fields and meadows. CvC led the charge as usual but soon came back from a falsie only to disappear once more. Fifi and Slipper also slid off somewhere, not to be seen again!!!! For some reason the rest of us, apart from the very occasional and short-lived “sprint” decided it was a lovely evening for a sight-seeing walk and we were regaled by several under Norfolk’s big sky including a lovely meandering stretch of river, flower-lined and surfaced by a mass of yellow water-lillies. Roight bootiful, it were.

At one stage we encountered a small herd of cows, heifers and skittish calves but they obligingly moved aside as we went by and stood watching in bewilderment. That said, Lobotomy did cast a few backward glances until we reached the field gate.

After an uneventful but soul-lifting meander we returned to Darby’s to find Cv C relaxed on an outdoor table together with 4 more hashers; according to LYM and No-name there had been an accident on the A47 near Postwick which caused horrendous tail-backs. This did not explain Yogi’s tardiness, though.No change there :-)

After partaking of some very tasty skinny, curly chips it was time for the circle.
GM Yogi called for the usual toast, congratulated the RA on keeping the rain away, then gave a D-D to Slipper as hare plus another as he was presented with his 100 “runs” mug.

Then it was RA,s turn. First up was Molasses for pointedly indicating his wrist upon Not Yeti’s late arrival. Slipper got another for apparently secreting his small change down the front of his jogging bottoms after buying his drink. Next up was Count v C who had originally handed the wrong mug to Yogi and had to retrieve it hurriedly. Then it was No-Name’s turn for upsetting the landlord by demanding his drink while the pub’s bingo session was in full swing.

That’s all, folks.
On-On,
Shunt
 

Run No. 1697
Hare. Molasses
Location. The Swan Inn, Ringland
Runners. Lots of legs
Dogs. Millie and Dulcie

Old fungus face is racing all over the place this week so the only way this is going to be written is if I do it myself, so please excuse any mistakes as QWERTs are not designed for paws.

We all met up in the large gravelly car park the legs all complaining how cold it was for the end of May, which does not bother me, one jot as I’ve got my toasty fur coat. He started following me round with a plastic bag at the ready as I investigated the car park but I never go ‘til we start running just to piss him off. My mate Millie arrived and we introduced ourselves with a quick bum smell, I’ve noticed your legs don’t do that, with the exception of Wooly who seems to honour all the females with a quick sniff.

After instruction and before the pack succumbed to hyperthermia we set off, I measured 100 metres then had my dump, on to a footpath and with the lead removed I could enjoy myself with a bit of free running that was until we came across a leaded Rottweiler and Mastiff whose owners insisted that Millie and me were also placed on leads, I think they were afraid we would attack their dogs and you know we could have had them.

The trail continued a well beaten route with Cerys (Kit) running like puppy with her parents in her wake until we arrived at the church then on to new wooded section were we came across a local swain and his lass obviously having some secret nooky I run over to smell how he was getting on but was soon shushed away. This new part proved only to be a loop and soon we were back at the church and on to the pub.

Back at the pub is all a bit of mystery as I was shut up in the back of the car with dish of water and a Bonio, but apparently  the Lupus Lupus was excellent as were the chips.

The Circle.
I was still in the car but he told that the following were awarded:-
The hare – Molasses
Then the RA ran through various misdemeanours, all of which he forgot.
Anyway I must away as I’ve got to gnaw a stick sculpture for his 441st birthday.
ON ON Dulcie Dog.
PS. A nice touch by the Remain campaign by laying on French Fries, Baguettes’, Olive Oil and Balsamic Vinegar.
Porky



 


 London Tavern, Attleborough
23th of May
Hare: CVC
 
Sunny Hash afternoon.
I got a lift from Bagman because now he lives very close to me (Oak St.). After picking up Maggie and swapping cars we arrived safe and sound in Attleborough one hour later.
About 20 hashers turned up that day, apparently not scared  of the Hare’s long runs reputation! The run was about 6 miles for runners and 3 miles for the SCB walkers.
On on! We shout all over the villages under the odd looking of locals. A checkpoint, wiped off by a suspicious local caused some confusion but helped to reunite everybody again.
 
We left the village by a bridge that crossed over the highway and found the HV inscription on the floor, what that means? High-way? Hash vehicle? High view? Ah no! it is a Hash View! Not considered a very romantic spot by many though.
 
Much idyllic was the run across the rapeseed field, flowers reached our head (to some more than others, Woolly probably still thinking, flowers? what flowers?) and a line of heads swimming in a yellow sea makes us forget and forgive CVC for the peculiar HV. If the moment wasn’t magical enough, Mosque Flasher suddenly appeared on my back from nowhere, magic!
 
A few pieces of road without pavement or shoulder made the run even more interesting as every time somebody shout petrol! we hesitated to jump into the bushes or pray. Even if dangerous, nobody died in that road, but we end up in the cemetery anyway.
 
Down downs:
To the Hare, CVC
To Lym, for a premature ignition
To Woolly, for his scalded hot foot
To CVC again for his autobahn view
And to Maggi who was named lumpy!
 
On on!
Chata
 

 

Run No 1690
Venue, The Village Inn, West Runton. Dodonia National Park.
Hares, Bagman and Farmer Maggi.

Yes its Bagman's run and of cause it will be a challenge as we are in the hub of the Dodonia National Park to the South is the Great Dodonia Heights and its massive three peaks and to the North is the coast, were gigantic cliffs that fall dramatically to the sea, This is a real wild and rugged place, on the Canadas Plateau some very rare species can be found including the Baluchi Mattress Mite that would be more at home on the Tibet Plains.

The run, yes as I thought Bagman had set the run to incorporate the three peaks of the Great Dodonia Heights, The trail started on the more gentle slopes of Runton Common then increasing altitude to Incleborough Hill for fantastic views of the coast looking down onto the Beeston Bump that resembles Yosemite National Park's Half Doom, booth cut in half buy erosion, The weather was really fine, even the highest peaks were not shrouded in mist and cloud, Doppelganger and myself decided the take the bull by the horns and ascend to the three peaks via the Aylmerton Pass the quickest route to the roof of Norfolk and its second highest point the Great Beacon, at this point there used to be a fire beacon then later a lookout/signal station to keep watch for possible invaders from this vantage point, today, now stands a lattice steel mast that transmits TV and radio signals. The trail then ascended the Big Daddy itself the Roman Camp towering to 108.5 meters, being 10% of its rival in Snowdonia that is 1085 meters in altitude, this must be a coincidence but it is true, the latter is one peak of the national three peaks challenge, here our three peaks are all close together. On, on to Stone Hill before our descent down Runton Canyon, a small canyon that meanders down from Stone Hill to Runton Common, just as we where approaching the station, Yogi turned up in his white van, one hour and twenty minutes late, normally he is a little late but his excuse, this time, was the van was not powerful enough to climb over the Aylmerton pass and the lack of oxygen at that altitude! did not help. Well Yogi joined the run were it descended over the Great Old Butts sea cliffs but soon found that he could not get back up again so he had to search the cliff face for a suitable location to scale this great edifice, the site was at the point were the cliff had given up its secrete, the prehistoric mammoth and the site had been buried in sand, to deter fossil hunters, this allowed Yogi to scramble back onto the top off the cliffs. Yogi must have been practicing rock scrambling in the Dolomites National Park in Italy were he paid a visit a couple of months ago.

Back at base camp, The Village Inn, a fine hostelry, serving us with fine sweet and savoury chips, fine beer and pleasant surroundings.

The Circle
GM Yogi's Whinge time, Social Events
Down, downs for the Hares Bagman and Maggi.

RA Not Yeti
Doppleganger and Optrex for Getting lost in Great Yarmouth.
Molarses for his transvestite dress.
Maggi for being a lost leader.
Doc for his departed soles, bless him.
Wooly for being a sex toy. What's the old ram been up to.

On, on until next time, LYM
Your Beer Master and Scribe for runs in National Parks and Protected Areas

PS National Parks stats have now officially proved the highest hill in the Broads NP is Strumpshaw Hill and not the Bath Hills at Outney Meadow, outside Bungay as once believed. Its about one third the size of the Dodonia Peak

 



Sunday 3rd April
The Mariners, Gt. Yamouth
Run no. 1689

It was a sunny spring morn when slowly in the cultural town of great Yarmouth a gathering of hashers  arrived in the car park opposite the mariners pub . twenty three or so came via car , train and pensioners bus , oh and don Juan used his usual method of navigation which involves driving round in ever decreasing circles until he see some one or something he recognises .
Setting off at a fast pace  ........? Passing various GY land marks , town hall , quayside , some old church that fell down three hundred years ago , park, the golden nugget amusements and on to a beer stop that the hares planned for the group who would be gasping by now. So the red herring was a welcome stop . setting off again pass the old hospital then towards the beach and north along the prom , passing ferrous wheels , helter skelters, a pair of piers and some custom cars, these cars seemed to consume the attention of woolly ,yogi Anna bolic and lucky which in turn prompted them to consume ice cream hence given the hares to believe they were lost or taken
the kings shilling from some modern day press gang as they were very late in returning to the pub . however the remainder did arrive safely from the hash or stroll as one hasher described it ......twonk having noticed the apparent lack of checks , but there was plenty of poles anyway . back at the pub slipper and Parker were already back having done some of the run in reverse . the pub looked after us well with good beer and lots of chip butties . the circle had a mystery ra ( lym)  down downs were many , woolly lucky Anna Yogi for ice creaming . don Juan for being don Juan probably , new shoes hugo and not yeti  for laying flour on grave stones of our ancestors , well they didn't complain so what's the problem . the pub landlord then took a photographic record of us all , probably for legal reasons should any criminal accusations arise from any localised poisoning cases , as had been the case recently . a good day and the hares would like to thank all for making it so .

Not yeti

 

Run: 1688 (Great fire devastates Bungay).
Date:                Sunday 27 March 2016                                          
Venue:        The Beehive, Norwich.
On-On:                   Ditto
Hare(s):        Mr. & Mrs. HM.

What a beautiful morning to run out into the Norridge townscape. Nice, cold and dry, just the sort of morning to go ‘arse over tit’ in the parks. The numbers were down a bit at the start due to it being Easter Sunday and the clocks going forward (not to mention thick heads) but still 16+ 2 (later runners).

Despite the biting wind, and a few regulars missing, the hash gathered in front of the pub (noticed it was Norwich Pub of the Year 2015). The anticipation of the trail was dampened a bit by knowing it was partially washed out, but, the hare assured us it had been partially re-laid that morning and good guidance would be at hand. Also it was noted, by HM, that Easter eggs were on offer on collection of various coloured discs that were ensconced along the trail.

The writer, not being a local of Norridge, cannot describe the route taken suffice to say it was extremely beautiful in parts especially down by the river Yare where it was noted that fantastic specimens of marsh marigolds were evident. Also plenty of the afore mentioned coloured discs were lodged. Back at the pub good beer was to be had along with plenty of chips and bread. The coloured discs produced many winners with one eagle eyed hasher gathering eleven discs and enough chocolate to guarantee constipation for the foreseeable future.

Down Downs.

The circle was mistress minded by Riff Raff who immediately got the members into an excited level of commercial activity by modelling the new line in Tee shirts. After things had normalised the two hares were ‘down downed’ one of which was noted to be near to the NH3 longest record time for necking the amber fluid. 

At this juncture the writer developed ‘Oldtimers’ disease and cannot remember who the hidden RA was! Anyway, whoever he was, he brought in the following: Slipper for commenting on HM’s flour orifice, Bagman and Shunt for late starts and Jan for a her birthday.
Hash Announcement.
None

Run Rating  (based on the Open Ended Rectum Scale).
100 out of 98.

On On,
Slipper.
 


Venue The White Horse Upton
Run No 1687
Hares, Hugo 
St Patrick's Day
Protected area of Upton National Nature Reserve, Broad, Fen and Marsh,

Reserved for Nature and all creatures green.
All creatures crave for it including humans, after a hard days work and escaping from the rain we return to our habitat feeling the arms of the one you love wrapped tightly around you when you need it most, that sense of protection, the feeling of sanctuary and its effect on us-and nature deserves the same. We should all have at least one place where we feel safe from the big bad world around us, like nature it needs these little pockets of safety, where environments are managed and people dedicate their lives to conserving both habitat and species in these protected havens for nature called National Nature Reserves.

Upton National Nature Reserve forms part of the upper Bure Valley protected area adjacent to the River Bure known as the "Mother of the Broads" As we all know the Broads is protected as a national park but some areas are protected at a higher level of stewardship than the park itself, to protect the habitat were nature will thrive there. Unfortunately the UK's National Parks are not true national parks but are in fact scenic areas that encourage tourism and recreation with equal status to nature conservation so this is why we have nature reserves with in them. The IUCN rates our national parks as cat V . A true national park is actually rated as IUCN cat. ll so nature is well protected above the rights of recreation and visitation, that's good for that little vole that could get trampled. You may have wondered why dogs are not allowed on the foot paths around Upton Fen and Broad, well the fen is protected as a very strict nature reserve and only a ditch protects it from dogs that could stray onto the reserve disturbing the eco system, Before the reserve was designated as a national nature reserve I did manage to visit the shore of the broad itself and came across a raft spider it was quite large but was able to run on the water to escape from it's predators, these amazing arachnids are very highly protected. I have always been interested in the Upton reserve since we had a run in there in the late 1980's I needed to explore this wonderful habitat a little more.

The green run started from the White Horse after some very warming poteen a very good Irish spirit of St Patrick's hospitality but before we got anywhere near the nature reserve the Hash was attacked by one of the reserves rare species known as a Neanderthalium Nawfucus, a Marshan creature that looks similar to a prehistoric human, it was supposed to be extinct some 700,000 years ago but surprising it is still surviving at Upton Nature Reserve, well it is normal for Norfolk. It mauled Gary Noname's right arm, then Molasses tried to protect him but the creature then tried to attack his little cub Ethan, Lym tried to communicate with creature without success but an attack was imminent so Lym let out an almighty, very mega loud native goose distress call and the creature retreated. It seemed that our flour had upset him as he thought a rival was setting out to claim his territory. May be we were not green enough. Soon we were out onto Upton grazing marshes via a permitted foot path through the wild life sanctuary. Doppleganger remaked that the track marks where that of a crane, Lym was looking around for a white bird similar to a heron but could not see one then realised it was a crane's caterpillar track marks used for dredging that DG was on about, we continued across the grazing marshes to the river bank of the Bure passing drainage windmills back to the Upton Staithe for the beer stop and some more poteen and Guiness. We continued round Upton Green, making it even greener, back to the pub, approved by Royalty, for some great chips and excellent selection of real ale. well done Hugo.

The Circle
Hosted by Bagman Social Sec.
Honor The Hash.
Up and coming events etc.
Down downs for the hares Hugo.

Over to the RA Not Yeti,
 



Venue, Mundesley and District Recreation Association, M-A-D-R-A, Old Hall Street, Knapton, Dodonia National Park.
Hares, Shunt and Basset.
Run Number 1686.

Once again we have a run in the wonderful Dodonia National Park, this time at Knapton a wonderful picturesque little flint village set in the Eastern end of the park.
Knapton got it's name from the ancient art of flint knapping that became a hub of the industry in medieval times, as nearby there lots of old flint workings that can still be seen today. Not far from our venue, to be found is a megalith known as Knaptonhenge, The stones are about 132 million years old, they are of Norfolk Carr stone that is quite abundant in the west of the park. The catch is, even though the stones are very old they have only been in place at this site since 2006 making them Briton's youngest stone circle. The park has been in the headlines just lately with it's offshore reef becoming protected to IUCN cat.1b and UNESCO have now moved the area from recommended to proposed World Heritage Site, if the park manages to get this title it will join the elite list of outstanding natural beauty national parks like Yellow Stone, The Giants Causeway, The Dolomites or The Serengeti.

The run, we had to share the car park with football players, spectators and the police, everybody parked their cars in a very nice orderly manner, not the Hash just a bundle around the first hasher to park, it was not really noticed while the carpark was full but when the rest departed you could see the tangle. Yogi turned up on time, a first since Milton Keynes H3 at his hotel, cause he was there. The on, on called and we were off on a very fine day with a cool wind from the sea. The trail took us onto part of the Paston Way, one of the shortest national trails in the country, that runs from Cromer to North Walsham, via, of cause Paston, no we did not run the full trail but we did run some of it, first crossing an ancient by way to River Mount not far from the Dilham Canal, heading North West to Pigney,s Wood then on to Knapton Nature Reserve, following the trail to the Paston Way again to Old Hall Street back to the village and of cause the On Inn, on the left was Knaptonhenge a twenty first century stone circle that looked as if it had been there for centuries. A four thousand year old circle was discovered on the coast in 1998 known as Seahenge at Holm by Sea at the western end of the park. Soon back to MADRA and we thought we were going to have to jockey with footballers at the bar of the club house to get a drink but most of them and their supporters opted out of the nectar and buggered off.

The Circle, a little older than Knapton's, Hosted By Yogi our GM.
Cheers for the hash for completing another run, Yogi's weekly whinge
The hares called into the circle Shunt and Basset. Down, downs awarded,
Social events, 1700th etc.
Birthdays, Yogi as well, down, downs.
Any further Announcements,

Yogi hands over the circle to the RA Not Yeti
My self Lym down downed for getting the Swanton's the wrong way round, Abbott is in the Bure valley and Morley the Wensum valley.
C U Jimmy down downed who shared his with brother Tom.

On,on Lym
Your Scribe for protected areas.
 


Venue Darby's Swanton Morley
Run Number 1685
Hare Slipper

Normally I am the scribe for natural protected areas, well the Wensum River and Valley is very much a secret I believe it got it's protected status when the National Rivers Authority, now defunct, managed the site and gave it the status of special area of conservation, SAC and is registered with the Joint Nature Conservation Council JNCC. It's not registered as a local nature reserve or on the UNESCO wing of the International Union of Conservation of Nature IUCN so I cannot tell you if the SAC area is graded or not . Not far away is the Pensthorpe Natural Park that is also in the Wensum Valley but we did not run from there. A couple of years ago Dodo noticed a sign on the A149 near Wells that directed people to Pensthorpe Natural Park and he thought it read National Park and he also thought some authority had changed the name of his national park. Well the area was very scenic, a flat bottom river valley with low hills on both sides, with lots of wild life and very scenic No Name and My self came across a waterfall that was flowing very well, a rare sight in Norfolk.

The run.
Slipper gave us some info about the flour being placed on the top of mole hills.then on on out towards Swanton Morley church then off to the right onto the Wensum Valley, Beetroot turned left onto a building site to get some ideas about new house designs and how to solve the housing crisis by building them half size, four foot high ceilings, doors 16" wide and 38" high, rooms six feet square, I replied "how would you get a bloody DFS sofa or a Bensons bed inside it, he remarked "well they build half size trains and railways for tourists, passengers can get in them and they work" he stated, the new building regulations state that ceilings no longer have to be 8 feet high, no further comment. Well he still has the hash shit. After trying to find the trail near the church car park we were soon into some very scenic landscape with the river meandering along the valley floor, Moskie was soon hallucinated by the marsh gas and started to get lost and nearly falling into a pond, just as she did at Hickling, she still has not got used to Norfolk's wild landscape, as yet. Foot Book soon found the mole hills with the flour on the top of them that looked very Alpine against the back drop of Norfolk landscape. Very scenic run indeed.
The Darby Pub was excellent, good beers, a historic setting, and we were accommodated in a private room above the main bar, via a spiral stair case that would be more at home in a medieval castle. Oh! yes the cheese' y chips were very good,

The Circle
Hosted by the SM Shunt.
The Hash Solute and run comments. Scenic, windy, boggy, cloudy etc.
Any up and coming events.
The Hare, Slipper down, down for his run an ear bashing from Shunt who did the duties of the GM.
Hash Birthdays
Dopple Ganger, Jelly Baby, and Slipper all down, downed. for their Birthdays

RA Not Yeti
Lym down, downed as it was Mothers Day (Luv Ya Muvva) or "love your mother" translated from cockney,
Slipper a memory paste down, down,

Lym your scribe for protected area runs.
On, on
 



Sunday 28th February, 2016. Hash Trash Run number 1684 
The Mariner’s Arms, Felthorpe

A lovely spring walk through quiet lanes bordered with snowdrops and, though a tad chilly, the sun shone … aaah

We had a late start of 12.00pm as this very pleasant but rather quaint pub doesn’t open until 1.00pm on a Sunday and as a result some kind of weird jetlag seemed to set in amongst the runners. This initially manifested itself as a bit of argy-bargy in the car park between the publicised Hares, Bagpuss and Woolly Jumper, Woolly insisting Bagpuss was to be Rear Hare even though she had been busy sorting out our food whilst he set the run. “I’m Here, but I’m not Hare!” was her cry, proving once again that Norfolk is a county divided by a common language. Still, at least we didn’t have any bears in the circle today.

As a result of this Jammy Tart took on the role of Rear Hare, and it was reportedly as scenic as the SCB, if several miles longer than the full run as described before setting off. But please can someone come up with a suitable mnemonic for SCB which doesn’t involve the B word for the Horrors? Bagpuss and I had to search our vocabularies pretty quickly as we looked for an appropriate alternative for Cerys’s tender ears …

Back to the pub and Woolly and Bagpuss supplied us with more than plenty of superb food, as they always do, so thank you!

Then to the circle. There were plenty of birthdays to be celebrated, including Riff Raff’s, Woolly’s, Yogi’s and Doppelganger’s.

Slipper found a black lacy bra on the roadside at the On-Inn. This had clearly belonged to a generously proportioned lady, and an excitable one at that given the manner of its disposal in leafy Felthorpe. For some reason Slipper felt compelled to hold an M&S style fitting service among the male members of the NH3 which backfired in spectacular manner as he now has to wear it himself next week. And he can’t get out of it as he’s Hare at The Darby in Swanton Morley, 11.am, Sunday 6th March in the year of Our Lord 2016!

Yogi didn’t lock his bike outside Norwich’s Theatre Royal whilst dashing in to buy tickets for a well-known show he didn’t have a clue about. And had he had a clue maybe wouldn’t have bothered. Result: nicked bicycle, Plod not the slighted bit interested, Yogi thoroughly cheesed off.

This isn’t a circle item, but if the GM seriously doesn’t think I’ve got better things to do with my time than write the Trash he’s welcome to come and do my ironing and clean out guinea pigs whilst I watch The Wright Stuff!!

ON! ON! Nice Beaver (only joking, Yogi x)



 


Run No 1682
Venue The Kings Head, Acle
Hares Not Yeti and Eli Phantom
St Valentines Pink Dress and Trail Run, yes pink flour and on the right date.

Normally I am the scribe for runs in protected areas for nature and conservation but was nominated by our GM Riff Raff, if possible. Well the location had all the indications that the run would coarse through protected countryside as this little gem of a town is known as the Gateway of the Broads, in fact the national park nearly surrounds it. Only its Western flanks do not boarder with the park and this area of farm land was chosen for the run.
The run was truly through Farmer Palmer land, signs saying "Git Orf Moi Laand" "Danger Raat Poison on Parrth" etc. These signs were not posted by the farmers but by local residents who were worried that the pink coloured flour was rat poison that could harm their pets. Gary (Noname), our hash farmer, had the task of going from house to house to tell the local populace that the substance was safe for pets and wild life and told them that rodenticide is blue and promptly removed the signs. Our trail substance was however reported to the police and given an incident number.
The good thing about running today on this farmland is that the mud was not very deep even though it had rained the night before not like the protected fens and peat bogs we were thinking of going through.
Soon we were all back at the Pub, friendly service, with a limited selection of real ales.

The Circle
Our GM Riff Raff Hosted the circle.
The run, windy, the remnants of hurricane Imogen (Ruff Raff), no trees, pink flower that turned red,

Down downs for the Hares Not Yeti and Eli Phantom.

RA in the circle Not Yeti

Eli Phantom called into the circle for a spooky incident regarding phantom car keys actually she lost them.
Down down tipped over her head.

Bagman called into the circle for trimming Maggi's bush at her farm, harked bush trimmers.
Down down sunk.

Slipper called into circle for leaving his wish list at last weeks venue the Ugly Bug
Down down sunk.

BM in the circle Lym

Not Yeti called back into the circle for using pink coloured flour that turned red after the rain and caused chaos among local residents thinking the flour was rat poison
and police were informed and gave the incident a crime number. Not Yeti was lucky not to lay a trail in the Broads National Park as this would have also upset the conservationists for endangering the wild life. Harked the poisoner.

On in back in the pub for our chips and chit chat.

On on your scribe for runs in protected wild life areas. LYM

 



Run Number 1680 at the Cottage, Thorpe St. Andrew on 31st January 2016.

Was this a hangover run? Well it was the day after our very enjoyable  Christmas Party. We set off at a good speed. i.e. a good speed for each individual. Our Hare Shunt showed occasional doubt when he laid arrows along the way as his Co Hair Mr. Bossy was absent. Despite that we all arrived back in good time. Some of us were wearing our new headgear received at the party the night before. We saw some interesting sights along the way. e.g The Don Juan Hanging Tree, from where he had been eventually rescued by Not Yeti on a previous Hash. Bagman had fallen over when he slipped on a stick and then was stabbed by it. Importantly the chips were good and the 1st batch were eaten before the bread plates and condiments arrived. Our Hare received his congratulatory drink as did Lucky for her birthday. Now I don't really recollect the down downs, drink having been taken, but Bobbin was taken aback when she thought that Shunt was insulting her rather than reciting a down down song in his role as songmaster.

Cheers
Riff Raff
 



Hash Trash, Run 1679

This was a combined run with the Milton Keynes Hash who were having an ‘Away Day’ event over the week end.

Norfolk Hash was depleted somewhat owing to significant numbers of regulars who went to the Yorkshire AGPU, but there were still a dozen of us adding to the Milton Keynes throng.

The Hares Yogi & Bobbin who started us off from the Stuart House Hotel & we proceeded for a grant tour of the finer parts of Kings Lynn, the Park, port & waterfront area & Tuesday Market Place & the Customs House.

There were a couple of beer stops, notably the 15thC Lattice House, suitably refurbished by Weatherspoons with loads of exposed beams & fireplaces.

Back at Stuart House suitably refreshed with beers & chips it was time for the Circle:

Hares in the middle Yogi & Bobbin...Millie came too!

Next a Down Down for Alida for gaining her Doctorate at the UEA but forgetting a bottle of Tequila at home with which to celebrate.

Next Awards of a mug each for the GM, Yogi & Lobotomy for completing 300 Runs apiece!

Milton Keynes then completed their down downs before we all retired to the bar for more refreshment.

Lobot



 


Run no. 1678    17.1.2016
Venue The Greyhound at Hickling.
Hare Moskie Flasher

Moskie Flasher was nominated for setting this run in the Broads National Park, this area is also known as Britain's Magical Wetland, Did she know what she was doing challenging the Hash against Mother Nature in winter, this is a wet and wild place not for the faint hearted or the weak and weary. Moskie's Knowledge of wild live is to that of a wild life program on BBC 1 TV called East Enders, concrete jungle of pavment runs are normally Moskie's forte'. This part of the Broads National Park is a special designated area known as the Hickling National Nature Reserve, a complete ecosystem formed on a massive peat bog that actually floats on the water of the broad, that will swallow a human in seconds and will never to be seen again.

Hickling Broad was nearly the demise of the future Broads National Park, in 1969, when the broad became tragically polluted killing nearly all of its wild life. Something had to be done. In 1949 an act of parliament was created to develop 12 national parks for England & Wales, the Hobhouse report mooted the Norfolk Broads and 11 other areas. The first 10 were created between 1951 and 1957, the Broads and the South Downs were left out from the first round due to cost. In 1968 part of the Broads was already designated an area of outstanding natural beauty being Horsey Mere. Soon after in 1969 it was recognised the whole of the Broads was now threatened and by 1974 the Broads Authority was created to control pollution and instruct local authorities to take action. From 1974 it was recommended the Broads was to be a National Park and after many studies plus political issues, the Broads was given protection under the Broads act 1988 and finally in 1989 the Broads became an independent national park, separate from the 1949 National Parks Act as this was a special case but is a member of the National Park Family that also protects its waterways and rights of navigation.

The Assembly started on Hickling village green beside the Chapel Pit Pond, it was noted that many people were gathering on the green as well as hashes far too many to be attending worship at the chapel. What could it be? A vintage Tiger Moth aircraft was doing loop the loops overhead, was this the attraction? In fact it was a very special day for the nature reserve. A trio of very important celebrity conservationists were at the Faith Visitor Centre, David Attenborough, locally born, Britain's Bone Idle, Ben Goddard, (palaeontologist) and France's celebrated entomologist Jean-Louis Alleon Dulac. To commemorate the opening of the newly established Brograve Levels National Nature Reserve that is a continuation of Hickling's and to award the area for its conservation achievement. The tiger Moth aircraft was part of the celebration being based for the day at Great Yarmouth's Ludham International Airport, (IATA code YLD), nearby. I hope it was powered using bio-fuel.

The Run: The weather was sunny but cold with a bit of frost, the terrain very wet, well it is Britain's Magical Wetland, the flour magically floating on the swamp like Norfolk dumplings on stew, many visitors were for the Faith event and not the Hash. we were on on in the Far East. It was not long before the Hash started to get into trouble, Moskie started to get confused and overran her own false trail, Then the victims, Bagpuss slipped into the mire and had to dragged out by Riff Raff the latter being quickly exhausted both had to retreat, Don Juan picked up swamp fever and had to retreat, Optrex thought her feet were getting wet but she was up to her waste in water as she had stepped off the trail, Shunt became a victim after being bitten by a venomous swamp snake, Bum Head being a petrol head thought he could engage four wheel drive and crawl on all fours, he tried to summon the pilot in the Tiger Moth for help but he earlier had made a forbidden German solute, the pilot just ignored him and carried on, Dopple Ganger got too close to some daffodils in bloom yes in bloom in January, that were floating on the bog and ended up at the same level as the blooms. Some brave souls completed the run like Porky who's dog looked more like an otter, Woolly got ticks in his fleece, I (Lym) retreated due to my web sites being overloaded as they are designed for water or mud but not thick peat bog, Bagman lost nearly all his blood as he was swarmed by leaches and Lucky Linda had trouble keeping the wild grass from raping round her feet. Back at the Greyhound the Hash were staggering back, one or two at a time, to a very warm welcoming open fire, after two hours we were all back including poor Gary Noname who has had a lot of experience of peat bogs as his habitat is near Sutton Fen and Broad. The vultures retreated back to the willow trees with hope of finding some carrion next time.

Inside the hostelry many bowls of chips were served with maxi size butties. Well done Moskie and many thanks.

Circled Called
GM Riff Raff managed to round up the Hash for the circle for forthcoming events, run number etc. Moskie Flasher called into the circle for being hare and awarded for her extreme bravery for putting the Hash into this wild terrain down down awarded.

RA Not Yeti
Moskie Flasher
For getting lost and confused on her own run, must have been the marsh gas causing her to hallucinate. Down down awarded.

Bumhead
For wearing black on the run, tried to get out of it by trying to copulate the Land Lords calf bovine. This did not work as he had committed a more serious crime by distasteful Germanic saluting to the pilot of the vintage Tiger Moth aircraft. Down down awarded.

Lucky Linda
For having trouble with grass, I wonder what type it was that she came across? It was believed she drove her car into some long grass that rapped round the drive shafts. Down down awarded.

Milff
For complaining about her phone did not work in the wilderness. Down down awarded.

Slipper
For having expensive car problems, He transferred his down down to Hugo as he was driving.

WC
For being well connected and paying us a visit, Down down awarded

Lym your scribe for runs in protected landscapes.

 

Sunday  10th January
Run no. 1677
The Ox & Plough.
Old Buckenham
Hares: Slipper & Parker

When Woolly & I arrived at the Pub a good few hashers had gathered for the the start, and soon after Slipper set the pack off. Being at the rear, and having a dodgy hip I joinned the Knitting circle with Optrex & Jelly Baby for a stroll around one of the largest commons in the UK.

So what happened on the rest of the Hash only you know, but i was told that it was a good 5 miler.

We all returned to the pub and eagerly awaited chip butties but were told that we wouldn't get them until about 2pm as they had to be brought in from Banham chippie. So while we were waiting the circle was called.
 
Down Downs were awarded to Slipper & Parker for setting the trail and also another one for them for not putting an arrow down, so that when the GM arrived late he didn't know which way to go.

R.A. then pulled Porky into the circle for not having any money and relying on others to buy him a beer. Then thinking it might be a good idea not to come with any money on future Hashes.

Beetroot received one for the henious crime of drinking the RA's beer!!

Hugo then came into the circle for wearing dark glasses thinking he was a film star.

Parker got a beer for having a new car and not knowing whether it had a Sat Nav.

Slipper had a half for calling the GM , HM.

Back inside a good time was had by all.

On On, Bagpuss



 


 Run No. 1676,
Sunday 3rd January 2016
From Woolly Jumper’s house in Sprowston, Norwich
Hares: Woolly & Bagpuss

Hello, it’s Nice Beaver, and for some impalpable reason (though suspiciously convenient for the GM) I’ve been picked as Scribe again. Still, I don’t mind as it makes a change from cleaning out the hamster. This was the first run of 2016, and as it was hosted by Woolly and Bagpuss with the promise of food it was inevitably well attended by the Gannets of NH3.

Saturday had not been the kindest day weather-wise for Hares setting a run, and Woolly warned us at the start that some trail marks may have been washed out overnight. Nevertheless, we had a sunny, fine start and the beginning of the trail was faultless until it hit Mousehold, where a number of flour marks had been scrubbed out by the kind of Daily Mail reading paranoids who clearly think their dogs are under threat of anthrax poisoning …. We’ve had this nonsense before, as both I and Not Yeti and a number of other hashers can confirm.

Still, Yogi got his revenge by letting Millie poo in a local garden, but as a responsible citizen picked it up and put it in their wheelie bin.

A consequence of those lost flour marks meant many were lost in the notoriously precipitous Norfolk terrain of Mousehold Heath for some time in rapidly deteriorating weather conditions - Storm Armitage Shanks as the BBC is probably calling it at the moment - and it was touch and go whether they could unclip their crampons and make it back to Woolly’s before all the chips were eaten. No chance of that, as Love Your Mother produced tray after tray of delicious chips. Thanks, LYM!

And as for Bagpuss and Woolly, who fed and refreshed the hordes royally – what can we say? The food just kept on coming! Given the number of us it was, shall we say, a very cosy atmosphere, but who could suggest a better way of spending a rainy Sunday afternoon in early January?

The Circle

We welcomed Aberdeen’s High & Mighty and Yogi reminded us of the NH3 Christmas Party at The Cottage - contact Shunt for details.

Down Downs

Aside from Yogi picking up after his dog, Hare Woolly’s flour distribution bag looked distinctly like the sort many use for the same purpose.

Jammy Tart, for mistaking bird poo for flour whilst lost on Mousehold, plus not differentiating between 50 yards and 50 metres from the last seen checkpoint (splitting hairs, surely? Ed)

Beetroot, for familial diplomacy, when he intimated to a grandfather at a family do that the man’s teenage granddaughter couldn’t possibly be related to him as she was too attractive.

So thanks for a great day out to everyone, and particularly to Bagpuss, Woolly and LYM for looking after us all so well. ON! ON! Nice Beaver x
 

Home   ¦    Receding Harelines   ¦    Trash   ¦    Runstats   ¦    Flash   ¦    Social Diary   ¦    Mis-management